Saturday, March 28, 2009

yo! since come back from GOS camp never talk abt it but anyways even if i don't say other people will talk abt it one larhs i lazy marhs...nth to say..oh the GOS video for presentation finish les than mam they all show us than fiqah and shah shah cry cause miss the times in GOS with all those kids there they all really very the cute!!!! but very sad can't go orphanage sias...very pity them but what to do?? heard ms chandran say her story to us but i heard some1 share their reflection saying that the kids there saw us but already realised that we are going to stay a while than go off...i guess its really upsetting to see the kids like that....don't noe how to put it...i feel really stressed now not because of my results...but i'm really angry with myself....its like my existance really give the people around me a lot of trouble....i have a backbone like my backbone is not straight but it is curved and the doctor say if curve until 25 degrees than ned to wear the plastice thing....it cost like $500 !!! but there's a new one the band one its strechable it cost like $2000 !!! its not a small sum!!! i really wished i wasn't born take comp team for example...if not for me syafiqah would have been inside and she would not have to be a reserved ...than she would have been so upset..raihana too...she really wants fiqah in the main team but she didn't say she didn't want me in she's just pissed off with pris....but i just simply feel that my existance is so extra ...now because of me my mum and all my family members have to worry for me and my uncle want me to wear the band thing...$2000....he has the money but i don't want like that...i really hated god..why does it have to be ME?! i used to be soo happy and healthy and now it happened to me???!!...soo many things happen recently...comp team competetion is coming than ballet exam is like next friday....worst still i have a whole lot of homework to do...this all would not have happened if only i wasn't BORN...my brother says i'm a mistake....he says i was not supposed to be here..and stuff like that...at that time he was insulting me but now i have come to realise probably he was right after all....i was a MISTAKE...hais...

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