hmms..hiie PEOPLE...LOls..I thought my science teacher is really that motherly....hees...i tiink its yesterday bahs certain things happen in our class after recess...during science class...the OM came up and reprimand certain students in our class for locking Mrs soong outside the class...I tiink so...smething like that...and...yeah she was angry...after apologosing certain people became being kinda rude to her and yeah...she flared up....FOR THE FIRST TIME....never seen like that before..got really scared....she's the kind of person that often gets despised by certain people who don't understand her...and she's different in a unique way..i must say....she often take the blame and compare herself to other teacher of her incapability......she kept saying sorry and stuff it made me feel bad....haas....hmms..oh well.....it takes quite some time to understand one's good intentions...she also kept reapeatinglike..."SO SORRY, I'M NOT AS GOOD AS MS CHANDRAN NOT AS FUNNY AS SHE IS...." I don't like the fact that she is self-reproaching..... its not her fault and she's trying her best to make her lessons interesting...but some irritating people in our just simply don't apreciate her intentions and often show disrespect to her...I DON'T LIKE THAT...she don't deserve this kind of treatment, she's a teacher and she ahs been really lenient to those certain idoits in our class....and they took it for GRANTED...how could they??? its really mean.....although she clearly knows that certain students don't like her and talk about her behind her back she tolerated all these nonsense and tehy took it for granted...and I DON'T DENY THAT I HAD GOSSIP ABOUT THAT ISSUE BEFORE...oh well that's past..and I'm starting to regret it yeah~....*everyone deserves a chance...* and certain people just refuse to give her that chance....hais..NVM...irritating idoits.....I'm surprised that she doesn't burst a blood vessel just by giving in to them..ALWAYS...*herh*
Quit talking about that issue.....AISHAH~ she's recently piled up with problems...and the only way I can help her is by informing Ms Chandran....but I'm afraid she might be upset...she doesn't want to inform her about it....but..I WANT TO HELP HER..seeing her so depressed..it really makes my heart ache.....I know I should have my stand in this kind of situation....but..yeah~ I'm confused.....seriously...~
Today..kinda horrid day though....not really that horrid....*if YOU're reading this....*
-SORRY, I really want to tell you but....I can't bring myself to....the words just drifted to my mouth but I just couldn't say it....I'm afraid of your reaction and what will you tiink of me....I could rite it all down but..I can't bring myself to show it to you.....I....I'm sorry.....I know you are seriously horridly curious....please believe me that I really want to tell you everything but at times I just am not courageous enough to say it all out let alone write it all down for you....I love you so much that I couldn't bear to let you know this ugly truth....you said you want to know....you'll be surprise and shocked...and these two words are not just written for the sake of writing...seriously.....forgive me....blame me for everything alright....sorry again..even though sorry isn't what you'll want to hear but I still want to say it....SORRY....to euu....*Loving someone isn't that easy....that's cause you'll soon realise that you are afraid to tell her everything...especially when its ugly...*

Hmms....its really cool huh...felt really blessed and cherished...even though sometimes things happen and made me hate life and felt like dying but thinking of the people who love me I'd never want to die...I guess the reason for making me hanging on to my pathetic life now are the people that love me and never gave up on me...I really love them and I finally understand when people say that LOVE CAN'T BE EXPLAINED...that's cause when I try to tell someone how much I loved her...It'd be very hard to explained...hmms...=)
Anyway who-ever is the LESSON FROM THE LEPER...thank you very very much!!!~ it's really comforting to hear that from you(the unknown)...LOls...looks like you are really secretive about your real identity huh...oh well...Its lovely that you care...THANK YOU...~ *looking forward to your next post...!XD*
Have no idea how to continue...what can I rite??? oh well I'm slightly irritated by my brother and I don't wished to discuss this stupid issue any further...whatever....love the song a certain someone sent me...XD...THANKS~ thanks to SJ I get to know all my real close friends there....GOD gave me a special gift on my birthday...ALL OF YOU AND A CERTAIN SOMEONE...even if I didn't get a gift on my last birthday-*(maybe I did, But i couldn't rmb..if anyone who gave me a gift read this PLEASE DON'T BE OFFENDED...I didn't meant to FORGET..SORRY IN ADVANCE..)* but I got you-all unknowingly...its fate...my gifts are always so mysterious...I LOVE YOU-ALL...loves..always...

Hellorhs people...Lols..hmms all's fine now I guess despite the fact that I got irritated by my mum yesterday and I was horribly stubborn...hmms oh well that's me...! and...Friday was kind of a peaceful day...I guess...all was peaceful until I went home and there's a awkard silence between me and my aunt...whatever...hmms...had a horrible time taking the sec 1's though and I admit I was in a bad mood the day before friday and yeah...I'm sort of impatient in teaching....anyway sorry....hees...LOls and on that same day we went to buy stocks JOO YEE, RAJES etc...went with her and yeah the wednesday post...sorry...patched up somehow and I somehow got scared of her...she freaks me somehow...became so fierce and...the feeling is so cold...I guess that's why I'm afraid...of her...the thought of her going with me that day seriously shocked me a little...but it turned out fine..hmms...glad that its ok...!!~ LOls...but for a while she sort of changed into another person a sort of cold one...and she has an aura around her that gives people shivers at times...I guess it has to do with SJ that's why..hmms oh well...but seriously if I'd ever quarrel with any senior I'm close with is definately because of SJ..that's cause that's the only link we have that connected the both of us....and on that day I asked myself HOW IT FEELS LIKE TO BE AFRAID...I guess its more than just normal afraid..what I actually meant is the feeling of not being able to find a certain someone and you started panicking...I hated that feeling...when I'm unable to find a certain someone and it made me realise that she knows everything about me but I knew nothing about her...its like whenever I'd go off and cry or emo ahe'd be able to find me... but when she does that I couldn't find her..and I got really scared...but what's the use it shows how much I don't know about her...hais...its sickening...I hope anyway that we wouldn't quarrel again...leaving SJ out of the picture....and oh on FRIDAY my co-form teacher is leaving school she's going of to study in university and I cried that's cause when she says her first co-form class was us...2E4...hugged her and I cried..got all of us a keychain specifically carved our names onj it and it made me cry more than ever..I MISSED HER...and LOVES always....XD

hiie...hmms...sometimes I think my English teacher is just soooo COOL....somehow....and somehow I think that 2e4 gets the best teachers.....! LOls....the teachers always happen to be so caring..in 2e4 and thank goodness for that....I guess sometimes cdertain people in my class just simply thought that our English teacher is just simply weird and overly dramatic....whatever...sometimes I get too carried away indulging in gossips about our English teacher...BUT...until that day he handed me a BIG BOOK and until I saw the tagg in my blog....(I thought that tagg sound so HIM).....maybe and I hope it is..!~ He's just simply unique.....in his own COOL way..haas..I thought....maybe he's the second generation of...erm...another caring teacher but it happens so that he's a male...hahahahas!!!~ oh well that's great and oh I read something from him and I thought that it simply sound so TRUE...mostly..haas....LOls....problems have been occuring lately and I think too much but I thought I'm a burden to certain people...a trouble and I don't understand WHY WOULD PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW THINGS THAT THEY KNOW WOULD UPSET THEMSELVES?...is this some psychological barrier??? and I too don't understand why friendships are like that in a sense...FRIENDSHIP is suppose to MAKE(s) PEOPLE HAPPIER BUT IT CAN ALSO BREAK THEIR HEARTS....??? well why? are we indulging too much in friendship to a certain extend that its heart-breaking enough??? to leave a friend...? oh well, I guess so...hated that fact....and I JUST realise that in friendship...there are bounds to have quarrels....and I too JUST realise I can almost burst a blood vessel talking about ONE issue that linked the both of us....together...the SIMILARITY...I found out that we COULD almost quarrel...for the first time.....over a single issue....

SO EXACTY HOW LONG IS 'JUST' ???
*similarity....*

if anyone can actually figure out..that 'one' must have really know WTH i've been blabbering on.....

hiies people!!!! Lols...anyway..about my previous post...about the group project...it seems to be much better now somehow they seems to be working together now, it looks more like a group....but not all memebrs are doing things exactly....anyway yeah...like that lorhs..seriously i got so damn pissed off...before until now...and i just realised that when i'm seriously unhappy about certain things i can really be very direct....but yeah that's me...even though being too direct at times can really piss people off but i belive in that fact that 不喜欢就直接一点，干嘛拖泥带水，拉拉扯扯? 这样岂不是让 自己更痛苦？
anyway enough about project work....its fine anyways....and oh me and aishah....hmms....just last monday we sorted things out..but it seems like that was just the surface not the in-depth....i'm still feeling horrid about the distance...oh alright it sounds really bad and stuff saying these....but yeah..its still not solved anyways and I don't noe how to go about solving it....about syafiqah it seems there's alot of misunderstandings and looks like things are looking up now...we are going to be back like before!!!!~ and I understand that sometimes she does certain things and it seems like she has to do that....so I don't blame her....yeah...=）
Also at times I think that my family just hates me.....especially my biggest and smallest aunts....which also includes the peole staying with me at home that disgust me so much....they are always so cold in a sense they scold you and pick at you for every TINY LITLLE WEENY mistake you make....and they never cease to stop nagging and irritate you...just like my brother he just beat me days ago.....whatever!!!~ I seriously hate coming home to my family and the shack place I'm living at right now.....AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
I wished I could earn alot of money in future and move out of this shack as soon as possible....and away from a violent brother....I swear that in future If he'd be in any troubke and if he'd come begging to me on my knees to save him..... i hope i'd just sweep him aside....that idoit...I'd never forget how violent he used to beat me for the past few years....me, always in his mercy crying for help....for GOD to send a lightning and kill in an instant.....for my ego always stepped under his feet...and it'll never happen again...NEVER WILL IT EVER EVER HAPPEN AGAIN....call me a heartless idoit or a mean cold-blooded person....I don't want to give a DAMN.....people who call me that or tiink that way are people who'll never understand that pain and everything I might have gone through...which they haven't....these people might people taht don't understand me and might be those whose parents really love them, they have a complete family while I don't...they have relatives that are married and can't bother much about other families whioch is a good thing, unlike my aunts and uncles all not married and they seem to have nothing better to do except to irritate us and poke their nose into our family affair...yeah...maybe they care...that's the OBVIOUS REASONS AND THE NOT SO OBVIOUS???? they are busy-bodies and just want to find topic to talk about and pick on us endlessly....this is what I hate man...a bunch of idoitic creatures..whatever!!!~ HERH!!!

yo!!~ oh alright....looks like things are looking up now!!~ XD except for the fact that I'm stuck with my project group...seriously I wasn't really happy about the fact that I was unable to do individual's work....NVM forget it....really felt so pissed and wanted to cry when I'm HELL stuck in there!!!~ oh for GOD'S SAKE!!!!!!!!!......WTH?! it seriuosly feels like I'm spoon-feeding them no....actually me and my able-partner are like spoon feeding them....maybe its partly also our fault we couldn't get them to do work....but its really UNFAIR....!!! I seriously hated the fact that certain people who just sit and talk amongst themselves....did NTH, just stare at you with their blank faces expecting a DAMN answer out of you...!!!~ AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!~ alright, maybe they did something....but its the fact that me and my able-partner are doing the MOST work...and they gain marks for just doing that LITTLE DAMN something...!!!! Not to say the last NEWater report both me and my able-partner had to do PRACTICALLY everything...!!! and I mean EVERYTHING alright....its the last important report I remembered I almost burst a BLOOD VESSEL from doing that...till 3am!!! like seriously WTH?! and what's worst is that our report is one of the worst REPORT!!! the entire class had written!! I went like OMG TIMES 10 !!!!!!!! Is it that BAD?!?! oh well alright.....it can't be done ALONE....*HERH*
And guess what what could be more worst then a HURRICANE SWEEPING PEOPLE OFF THEIR FEETS....? is ME still stuck with the same people as a GROUP!!! and that totally FREAKS me out....! why?! seriously...WHY the SAME people?! oh well...finish COMPLAINING...
hmms...ok if all these sound mean.....and horrid..but its TRUE...that's what I'm tiink-ing abt....would like to APOLOGISE....anyway....hope all these GETS OVER AND DONE WITH....I wouldn't want HISTORY to reapeat itself AGAIN!!!!~ NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!
And some-how kind od miraculously.....things happen to be better especially in FRIENDSHIPS....really elated when I heard that next FRIDAY...CCA'S resumed!!!~ XD finally no school-work!!!!!!!!~ LESS HOME-WORK LESS STRESS...!!! hmms..oh well...really worried and miss-ing RAJES....she's down with FEVER the last time I saw here..and I haven't seen her for 2 days or more...it feels like 100 YEARS of moaning just freaking PASSED....Lols and so is SYAFIQAH....heard she's also sick...looking forward to meeting them soon.....really want to say and explain things to certain people....and looking back...when was the last time in my blog I wrote Fiqah's NAME??? kinda long yeah???~ still in the midst of CLARIFICATION....hmms...

yo!!~ OMG..its been days and it felt like years to me...gosh!!~ oh for heaven sake's school reopen say last week...? yea...and we can't have cca for 2 weeks or more..hell knows...nvm anyway just last week was SJ day we couldn't have our parading and stuff that's cause got the DUMB h1n1...wahlao...hmms we wore our uniforms hees....suzannah and I read the SJ message...GOSH!!~ I sound weird...so mono-tone...seriously..nvm...hais....oh well....and yeah homework's piling up.....GOODNESS GRACIOUS ME....oh well....things happen alot in just mere 2 weeks...had to do lots of stuff now...lols SJ stocks are 90% ready!!~ XD "my head" will be spared from scoldings... poor her......all that's left to do is some admin stuff and finally I finished my english report and my space shuttle project which is due tml....lols 2 burdens are down...!!!~ school's getting better though...although homework is kind of a problem...hees....and oh just last FRIDAY was my form teacher's B'dae.....Ms Goh...=D wrote a letter to her passed a letter to her yesterday....hmms...certain ppl got sick..wonder how's she....didn't want to call her guess she wouldn't like it either....she hates me....everytime when talking about her....my heart hurts so much...sometimes I think people that knows you inside out often hurts you the most...in whichever way....and sometimes people whom you are not close too tends to care for you more then certain people whom you once love and care for.....伤害你最深的人不一定是你的仇人，有时候会是你身边的人。。。I don't understand it..why is this so......forget it....yesterday at bus with weirdo and rajes..we went to buy stocks....and i was thinking about certain stuff..it made me want to cry.......haas....today's a normal but kinda horrid day for me!!~ lols will stop here for today.....and oh ballet lessons are getting better just that i can't do my turn very well and am worried what if i can't catch up and fail inter-found??? haas....